Today, I am working at a wedding. When I was offered the chance to work this event, I was ecstatic. I love weddings! I have an elaborate Pinterest board devoted to color schemes, cakes, venues, table settings, dresses, and everything else you can imagine that has anything to do with weddings.
My guy friends on campus insist that I am wedding obsessed. …And maybe I am. But why? What is it about weddings that gets me so fired up?
This was the question on my mind today as I helped the mother of the bride set up the room for her daughter’s wedding reception. I started thinking about all the experiences I’ve had with weddings. Well, my limited experiences.
This is actually only the second wedding I’ve ever been to. The first one was when I was very young and my dad was the wedding photographer. I don’t remember much about it.
My more memorable experiences have all been from TV shows, movies, and internet pictures. I used to religiously watch Say Yes to the Dress and Four Weddings. I’ve seen multiple wedding movies like Bridesmaids and Bride Wars, and I’ve already mentioned my Pinterest obsession.
When I started to think about the movie, Bride Wars, Anne Hathaway’s line stuck in my head. “For once, I just want something that’s mine.” This was her response to the suggestion that she and her best friend have a double wedding. I realized that I totally agreed with her character.
“For once, I just want something that’s mine.”
I don’t normally like to be the center of attention. Don’t get me wrong, I love being recognized for things I’ve done well, but I’m not a fan of all eyes being on me. Even though I think I am the bee’s knees, in real life, I’m not sure I deserve the spotlight. There’s always more I could have done, and I don’t want to open myself to the criticism of others.
But a wedding is different. It’s not about congratulating you for accomplishing a task; it’s about congratulating you for being happy, and that’s something people can’t criticize you for.
I think I also like weddings because, for one whole day, everyone is thinking about you and how wonderful you are. I know this sounds incredibly selfish, and maybe it is, but I still want it. Far too often in life, I’ve been led to believe that someone genuinely cares about me, and then the truth comes out that I’m just a convenient companion. I try to put other people first in my life, and it would be nice to have someone else do that for me.
Now, yes, that is what a husband should do, and I certainly expect to have that kind of respect from at least him on my wedding day, but it would still be nice to have that kind of attention and respect from other people, too. Just once, I would like people to talk about me and not change the subject to something about them. Just once, I would like people to look at me and see me.
“I see you.”
It’s like in the movie Avatar, where the Navii people say “I see you” instead of “Hey.” They say “I see you” because they see you for who you are. They recognize your soul and who you are as an individual. It is a sign that you are important to them and that, for a little while, you are their sole concern.
That’s what I want from a wedding. I want people to see me.
Blending in has its advantages, but everyone wants their few minutes of fame. They want to know that people love them and care about them.
At least, that’s what I want.